Have We Seen This?

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

First there was this for Cruise 12/13:

The makeup, stunning, the hair, oh the hair! But I let it slide, you know, it’s Karl Largerfeld, it’s Chanel, it was at Versailles, maybe they should be avant-garde every once in a while.

But I have finally remembered to track down the long-awaited, much talked about ad of Brad Pitt for Chanel No. 5. I was expecting something as stunning, thrilling and sexy as Audrey Tatou or Nicole Kidman’s but it is not to be:

This is part one and part two is no different as far as the script goes.

Oh dear. I’m worried.


No Connection

It’s been a week of no blogging, no having fun, no lying in the recently emerged summer sun and no internet. Could my life possibly have been more disastrous??

That’s my brilliant excuse for not posting. No internet. I could’ve gone to uni and used the computers there but I felt that the oppressive halls of such a soul-sucking institution would do nothing for my creativity and besides, my head was so full of torts, trials and tribes that I couldn’t fit much in (limited capacity up there, ya hear?)

I thought I’d find it all refreshing, you know how they’re always saying that we need breaks from technology and people are always whinging about how they wish they could just “turn everything off”? In the summer, at the bach, great! internet, stay away. In my flat, all alone, abandoned by friends and flatmates alike as everyone was either studying or gone home already, I didn’t feel righteous or like I was doing something good for my soul or whatever, I just felt lonely.

I couldn’t see what my friends were up to on Facebook, I couldn’t go onto the page my friends and I have to send funny newsbites or pictures to each other, I couldn’t check my Viber, I couldn’t watch Suits online, I couldn’t even listen to the Downton Abbey soundtrack on Spotify. That was exponentially made worse by the fact that I was studying.

In short, I was forced by sheer boredom to entertain myself on my study breaks by watching Farmer Wants a Wife. Now I genuinely don’t feel that either the extent of my emotions nor the crux of that TV show need anymore elaborating on than that sentence.

Concert #1 The Black Keys

I rocked (haha) up in a backwards cap and red lippie feeling like someone from 1994 and looking more than a little lost while screeds of indie kids with their leather backpacks and girls wearing denim shorts hanging onto skinny boys with slugs across their upper lips who looked far too sexually confused to be into them (the girls that is, not their mo’s), skulked about.

The opening act, were saved by their good looks and Aussie charms, clearly off their faces and I had that sad feeling like when you watch spazzy kids at ballet concerts that this really isn’t their life calling and they should go and get proper jobs. It was like they’d heard The Checks and were trying to be an Australian version. Not so good.

Then promptly (a sure fire way to get brownie points) at 9.30pm, The Black Keys took to the stage. It was a magical hour and a half. Because I haven’t actually heard their new album I was a bit apprehensive but they probably showed off more oldies (to my liking) than newies. For two guys they sure can make a lot of noise and when they had back up it only got better. The Black Keys were so genuine about the whole thing and focused on the music with just a wee bit of banter. The crowd was super responsive, which always makes me proud and the whole stage setting was well-designed and a bit different. They even played my favourite song (Ten Cent Pistol) that I thought was a bit too obscure for a big gig like this.

I couldn’t hear properly for the next two days but that’s ok because the sound of tracks like Everlasting Light and Howlin’ For You were ringing in my ears.

Coldplay tonight…

America Decides

Dear Citizens of the United States of America, (I’m not sure if you are actually ‘dear’ to me, we will see how today goes)

So, it’s November 6 for you today huh? I hear that’s pretty important. I hear there’s things thing you’ve gotta go and do today, you know, like, vote. Well, in true ‘nation of the free’ fashion you probably don’t have to do anything, becuase that would be a disaster if you were actually forced to do something. You know, like sort out your healthcare system, or make moves towards gay marriage or end a war. Oh wait, you don’t have to do that becuase Obama already has. That’s right, he’s already improved your nation and begun to pull it out of the Republican mess of the Bush Administration, but that’s just it, he’s only had the chance to begin.

Obama has given us, the rest of the world, such gems as actually being able to string a sentence together, actually having worked hard, from the bottom up to get to where he is, actually capable of making moves for the long term, to set the USA up for the next generation, not the next four years. He’s not afraid to do the big tasks, like Healthcare reform and he’s not afraid of making the right moral decisions. He’s given you a leadership that has made the world turn its faces back to you with some respect, instead of cringing. Four years in a system like the States’ is nothing, especially when there are such big changes that need to be made.

So, for the sake of the respect of your international peers, and the good of the world at large, especially where war is concerned, please America, just as a wee favour from you. Do your homework and vote for change, but for the change that’s already happening, give the babe another four years.

Peace. (Not love, because  don’t feel we’re there yet)


America, you can do it!

Singletons of the World, Unite!

This week I’ve had three very well meaning but still irksome queries from people in my life wondering if there’s a guy on the scene. Now, when you are single, this is the single most annoying thing that someone can ask you, this is only made more annoying if the person asking is in a relationship, which all three were.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate their concern or curiosity. Although I am suspicious that the concern is more like pity as they look sadly upon my answers that I am just happy waiting, not worth settling, don’t have the time, no good guys in the vicinity, love having hate sex with random strangers etc all followed by forced laugh (and then BIG internal sigh). I also think that the curiosity may be a result of me having told raucous stories in the past (evidence for this in phrases like, “have you ever heard from that (insert description of boy here) guy?” or “what ever happened to (insert description of boy here)?”) and perhaps in the delusion that some coupled people seem to have about being single, that it’s all cosmopolitans and Sex and the City. Or are they hoping for a bit of gossip to take home to their partner, followed by smug tones along the lines of “thank god we’ve got each other, you won’t believe what _____ got up to on the weekend!”?

Regardless, I love to talk, have very limited screening between my head and my mouth, I have a wide circle of friends, I’m a notorious perver and I have a blog for goodness’ sake. So please, just trust me, if there is a man, ever, in my lifetime (or probably in the next too), you don’t have to ask. I WILL TELL YOU.

Although, as a side note, this is probably very unlikely because, as my mother kindly pointed out to me, I am too concerned with looks and looks aren’t everything. REALLY MUM? REALLY? ugh, what does she know?

If I Were Bridget Jones

If I were Bridget Jones then yesterday’s diary entry would look something a little like this:

Monday 29 October

Weight: don’t know as don’t have scales in house (good for self-esteem). Alcohol units: 0 (very good). Cigarettes: 0 (as don’t smoke). Caffeine units: 4 (fair). Negative thoughts: 52 (all on topic of life and talents being wasted learning torts etc). Hours of study: 4.5 rounded up (bad).

8am alarm goes off, curse the world and roll out of bed. Catch glimpse of self in mirror and consider rolling back into bed. Remember hunger. Go to kitchen.

8.26am settle onto couch to watch morning news in an effort to become more enlightened.

9.01am make third cup of tea and resolve to start study.

9.06am remember friend’s birthday, must find hilarious images of world’s favourite cat (Hello Kitty) to post onto her Facebook timeline.

9.22am Four Hello Kitty Pictures down and I am going to study.

10.05am have definitely deserved a snack.

10.45am have definitely deserved another snack. Make popcorn.

10.52am whole container of popcorn eaten. Study resumes.

11.30am get out of pyjamas in order to drag butt to gym.

1.02pm return from gym after a mildy successful Abs Buns and Thighs class where I was definitely wasn’t the biggest loser there (yusssssss!) and as always there were no hotties in the gym. But I found myself staring at this guy who I know is not that cute in an effort to detract brain from burning thighs. Feel that perhaps standards are sinking out of desperation and perhaps hallucinations from lack of oxygenated blood to brain?

1.24pm Out of shower, just got dressed into super comfy study gear. Flatmate’s cute brother shows up, curse self for wearing unattractive trackpants complete with bloodstain on the pocket and longjohns underneath, thus making bottom look particularly saggy, ironic as have just been to ABT class.

2.17pm Flatmate’s brother leaves after a long yarn, in which he asked me if there were any boys on the scene. Ugh. The singleton’s most hated question, especially coming from people in relationships, as this young man is. Spin usual spiel about loving the single life not wanting to lower standards for the sake of having someone to keep me warm at night etc etc.  Make cup of tea number four. Study resumes.

3.15pm afternoon tea time.

4.12pm Time to do some internet trawling to find Babe of the Day to post to friendship group Facebook group, as self-designated Babe of the Day poster during the entirety of the exam period, I take my job very seriously and ensure that only the hottest guys make the cut. Hard work deciding who to use today.

5.32pm Retire from desk for the day, go upstairs to make dinner.

10.56pm Making a risotto (perhaps the most time consuming of dishes) and then having visit from friend meant no more work. Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow.

Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones

Sharing and Caring

Inspiration is still low.

It’s getting a bit awkward.

So just going to hit you all with someone else’s work for the sake of consistency of output.

There’s been a lot of internet trawling going on between study and I’ve come across some gems, this one was sent by a friend. Here are the Franco brothers. If you don’t know James Franco, you must live under a rock. He is multi-talented actor, writer, producer, director with a degrees from Yale, Columbia and Rhode Island School of Design and he lives with this two cats (which is actually rather weird when you’re this hot). Turns out, there’s another Franco and this interview is just a little bit gorgeous. It’s a bit of family time in the middle of a crazy busy life (self-imposed so I’m maintaining my no-sympathy-for-celebrities stance). It’s in five parts, here is the first. Enjoy your Sunday, I’ll be getting back to the books.

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