Spying Eyes

I have mentioned my perviness on here before, I like to think of it as a lifestyle choice rather than a gross quirk. I have a particularly interesting set of neighbours that I have been watching all year. There’s an older man, an older women, a young child and an assortment of younger women and men who come and go. Here’s what I’ve picked up: old man (who we have nicknamed grandpa) runs some sort of international business (amongst his other hobbies such as watching ALL test match rugby) as he is on his headset late at night and early in the morning. The child isn’t theirs, he’s only five and grandpa’s at least 60, but, the wife could be much younger, it’s hard to tell, I reckon the kid belongs to the brown-haired girl. They never eat at the dining table. Curious right? Well I had quite a breakthrough yesterday as I was checking out the builders over the road who had taken their shirts off, a delivery van pulled up outside and loaded some freshly packed boxes into the back, all with a company’s logo on it, which I have since investigated and seems like exactly the sort of business grandpa and co. could be running.

If there was one thing that saddens me about not being in a country that is against other countries/has reason to be threatened/is a world super-power, is our lack of spies. I don’t even know if New Zealand has any real spies. I certainly hope not because their force is definitely lacking without my expertise. Or even private investigators? Do we have those? How am I to know without it being documented on a television drama. Seriously, my potential is being wasted, I can walk into a room and tell you immediately if there are any hot guys in it. I can remember people’s outfits on demand and I know the comings and goings of all the neighbours. I think it’s about time I put my skills of ‘observation’ to real use, for the good of the nation, not just to alleviate my indescribable boredom on a Monday afternoon.

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