Porn – the new fairytales?

A little while ago I read an article in British Elle about how porn is ruining young men’s abilities to form proper sexual relationships because their expectations are marred by what they stream on the internet. It was a very interesting article with input from psychologists, sex counsellors and an excellent quote from everyone’s favourite sleaze, John Mayer (seriously, John, we do love you.) The premise was that guys expectations of sex are so wound up in what they see in porn flicks that the real world will not be sufficient and if anything, any attempts by girlfriends or sexual partners to imitate that is a turn off. Good argument. But I venture fourth another, equally sad one. If guy’s expectations and fantasies about sex are moulded by what they watch, thus making it difficult to face the prospect of real women, haven’t fairytales been doing the same thing for girls since the dawn of the written word?

We are fed these stories of handsome princes, who have money, good looks, charm and generous hearts. We are told that they will rescue us, be all we need and never be selfish, with our interests coming first, culminating in us riding off into the sunset. In these stories, whether they be Cinderella or modern day rom-coms like Notting Hill, we are shown images that are absolutely unrealistic. Here are these men who may be dorky or babe’in but they are somehow perfect and, what’s more, perfectly into you. So here we females go, watching media that we know is idealistic but ultimately feeds our imaginations, thus giving us expectations as unrealistic as girls with perky EE boobs. We expect that we will have ‘foot-popping kisses’ (Princesss Diaries) and that he will chase us through the rain (Four Weddings and a Funeral). How does this compare to our reality of young men who are obsessed with looks, who are intimidated by success and who won’t approach us when we are totally trying to flirt with them in the library?! Maybe if our expectations weren’t so high, our love loves wouldn’t be so constantly disappointing. So complain and condemn porn all you want, but maybe Garry Marshall films are equally to blame.

 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. evnz
    May 24, 2012 @ 00:05:29

    feminist lit has great stuff to say on these two points: screwyoudisney etc

    Reply

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