List #1

I love lists, if you don’t, you’re weird, strange, uncouth and unsettling (see I love lists). Even Da Vinci made to-do lists, according tothe BBC his said things like,

  • “Get hold of a skull.”
  • “Observe the holes in the substance of the brain, where there are more or less of them.”
  • “Describe the tongue of the woodpecker and jaw of a crocodile.”
  • “Give measurement of the dead using his finger.”
  • “Get your books on anatomy bound.”

Not that I feel comfortable comparing any other aspect of my life to his, nor should you expect a list as interesting and imagination sparking as that. However, lists are a nice thing to write when all your other energy has been zapped (I’ve been struck down by a lazy cold this week, causing me to feel general restlessness with the world and a specific malaise about getting off the couch) but the need to blog is ever-present.

In light of the government’s plans to modify student loans (again). Now, I know it is unclassy to talk about money so I shan’t disclose the details but the average student debt in NZ is  around $30,000. I dedicate this list to all to all my fellow students as I ponder what I could have done with that money.

1. Shoes: about 30 pairs of Louboutins would cut it

2. Plastic surgery: liposuction on the inner thighs seems to be the thing of choice these days.

3. Feed a whole lot of kids who are living in poverty in New Zealand (yes we could feed kids in Africa too but I subscribe to the ‘clean up your own backyard first’ way of thinking.

4. Use as capital Start a small business in a niche market such as fat people, old people or the ever-expanding beauty industry

5. Drop everything and travel, now this could be done in a variety of ways and last a variety of lengths depending on your tastes.

6. Buy a house boat and live on it.

7. Throw one kick-ass, legacy-creating, no-holds-barred party

8. Cover the three week living expenses of Kim Dotcom

9. Convert it into about US$23,625.78 and wait

10. Convert it into about US$23,625.78 and get 23,625 tacos from Taco Bell.

So in reality, spending it on an education isn’t so bad is it? I say this with the hope that we all make enough money quickly after graduating to pay it off.

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